I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
