Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
