Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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