going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
