So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
