Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
