as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
