I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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