whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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