I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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