As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
