hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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