I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
