SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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