Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So much rum. So many feels.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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