nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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