After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize