My friends, they love my intelligence
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
