If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
