Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
