yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
