marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My dick has a subreddit
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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