she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
