i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
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How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
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She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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