no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
