Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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