So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
