the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
