my sisters under your porch take her home
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
