Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
