im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i think my cat just said my name.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
