whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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