You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
