I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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