cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
