well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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