rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
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Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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