I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth