How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
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sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
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she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...