found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.