My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize