ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
