I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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