I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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