i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
