I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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