I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
