drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
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