at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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