I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
