Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
In America we eat man semen.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
