i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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