Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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