did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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