youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
