Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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