thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
