Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
