Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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