physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
