Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
