Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize