You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
